Friday, January 6, 2012

Mitt Romney's Mormon Lit Blitz Hook Revealed...

Mitt Romney recently scored a narrow victory in Iowa--just barely--against his fellow GOP front-runner, Pennsylvania magician and escape-artist the Great Santorini. While many were pleased with this victory, including Romney's four wives, others lamented that Romney failed to beat out his opponents by a greater margin of victory.  

When asked about why he didn't do better, Romney responded, "I could have done better in Iowa, really, but I was too busy working on my submission for the Mormon Lit Blitz."

Well, folks, there you have it: even Mitt Romney has entered the Mormon Lit Blitz. And with only ten days left to go until the deadline, maybe you should too.  

Also, in case any of you are doubting the legitimacy of this post,* and to give Wm Morris something to fear, here's the hook to Romney's Mormon superhero fiction entry:

The Iron Rod Returns

     Darkness falls on the icy streets of Detroit. Atop of the towering Penobscot Building, the Iron Rod, alter ego of billionaire Mormon playboy Witt Stromney, looks down upon a makeshift tent city--the teeming headquarters of INHABIT DETROIT, the sinister brainwashed acolytes of his archenemy, THE SOCIALIST HOPE!!! Sharp Canadian winds from Lake St. Clair carry the sound of hippy music and late twentieth-century Marxist theory to his ears, reminding him of his days crusading in Massachusetts. His skin crawls beneath his spandex and Kevlar body armor.
     Footsteps! He spins around and crouches for the attack.
     “Easy partner,” a familiar voice croons from the shadows.
     “Bluntsman?”
     “It’s the Liahona, friend. At least while we’re on duty.”
     “I thought you quit.” [MORE]


*It probably goes without saying that this is not a real entry. Mitt Romney has not entered the Mormon Lit Blitz. Nor does he have four wives, a suit of spandex, or Kevlar body armor.

3 comments:

  1. Awesome.

    Re your footnote: I wouldn't bet against that last one.

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  2. So, are we gearing up for a "Mormons and Superheroes" anthology?

    (Also, I'm currently a stone's throw from the Penobscot River and I was going to lambast you for the inaccuracy of naming a Detroit building after a Maine Indian tribe. And then I did five seconds of research and discovered that it's a real building. Whoops!)

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  3. Hey...having never been near Detroit, I did my five seconds of internet research as well!

    ReplyDelete